hold on

June 9th, 2009 -- Posted in General, stupid body, weight loss | 3 Comments »

hold on is one of my favorite songs by sarah mclachlan; it’s also what i’m doing right now…really, really holding on. holding on to faith and hope and that things will work out. but honestly? i haven’t even started treatment yet and i’m sick of holding on to only this. i need something else in my life, but i don’t know what it is. train for a 5k? start some sort of hobby? graduate school usually keeps me super busy, but now that i am off for the summer, i’m realizing how i hate not having anything to do.

i’ve been thinking about going to the local school’s track in the evenings after work. i can get outside and exercise and have an outlet for work stress. i think it will also be good for me to get out of my house more because i seriously do not do anything after work. if james is working evenings or nights, i just stay at home and feel sorry for myself. it has to stop. i can feel the downward spiral (i talked about that in an earlier post) and it’s really starting to bum me out.

so give me some ideas! what do you do for fun? hobbies? after work activities? do you go to the gym? belong to a book club?

hangin’ tough

June 9th, 2009 -- Posted in food, friends, texas, vacation | 1 Comment »

i’m leaving work a little early on thursday to meet my high school girlfriends in pennsylvania. this is not your usual meet up with high school friends, no sireeeebob. we are going to the new kids on the block concert. that’s right. i think they like to be called nkotb now but that’s okay. the four of us went to see them when we were teenagers (actually, there were five of us but that’s a whole different story) so this will definitely be a big trip down memory lane. i promise that i will not be one of those 30-somethings screaming and crying for jon, jordan, joey, donnie, and danny. i’ve known two of the three ladies since kindergarten. we were in the same carpool when we were five years old; i’ve known them for almost 30 years. (that right there just about blew my mind.) we all met the fourth lovely lady in sixth grade when our grade schools combined to one middle school. or maybe it was eighth grade. i’ll verify this weekend. i haven’t seen two of the girls for close to eight or nine years, but have kept in semi-regular contact with one of them. facebook – that frighteningly addictive place – has reconnected us and i’m so thankful for that!

so besides talking about my girlfriends and the fun we will have together this week, i must also share information about our trip to austin. we were only there from thursday evening until sunday afternoon, but managed to eat our way through most of the city. we had tex mex and bbq and breakfast tacos and greek food, a lovely brunch at our hosts’ home, fish tacos and margaritas at the hula hut, and did i mention the bbq? i’m still dreaming of the brisket and blackberry cobbler from the salt lick. if i could make blackberry cobbler like that, i’d quit my job and eat it full time. and possibly sell what i didn’t eat. weighing 500 lbs would be worth it if i could eat that much blackberry cobbler, believe me. if you are ever in the austin area, please please please go to the salt lick and remember to save room for cobbler (thank you to my other dawn for reminding/telling us!).

it all started on thursday night when we went to a local greek restaurant

other than eating and drinking, we also got to meet my friend’s twin boys. those little guys were hilarious and entertaining and lovable and huggable and just so much fun to be around. but holy cow, i don’t know how she does it. she’s an amazing mother and such an inspiration!!!! she put the boys down for their nap, so james, shaunna, and i took off to visit mt. bonnell.

what awaits at the top of top of mt. bonnell

the view of town lake below

we were a little hot from hiking up and down steep steps, so we decided to go to the hula hut for drinks!
james and his mojito:

my delicious strawberry/lime margarita (it was as frosty and wonderful as it looks!):

our pina coladas. with an extra shot of rum. what can i say? we were on vacation! :)

and now, a warning. this next picture may cause you to jump on the next plane to austin or something. this is coy’s picture of our food from the salt lick. i couldn’t be bothered to take pics of this food. i dug right in. (that is *not* my beer cosy). :D

pics from the oasis. i also have a great story about the man hunt that went down that night, but more on that later. for now, enjoy the pictures.

yet another fruity drink (this one was lame compared to the drinks at the hula hut)

and finally, my cowboy boots. i love them so much.

whew! this was a long post! and i still have so much more to tell you!
oh, sorry for the crappy pics – these were all from my iphone except for the salt lick pic, and that was also from a camera phone. i’ll download my real pics later!
to be continued…

finally

June 3rd, 2009 -- Posted in friends, health, pcos, pms, stupid body | 2 Comments »

cd1 is here. terrible timing, but at least i know i can have many margaritas while on vacation this week!

we leave tomorrow for austin to spend a long weekend with some wonderful friends that we don’t get to see enough. i am so happy and excited to meet a dear friend’s 2 1/2 year old twin boys…i was fortunate enough to see my friend and her husband at another friend’s wedding in aspen (2007) but this will be the first time to meet the boys. i can’t wait!

so as far as my ultrasound and hsg and all that – it will have to wait until the next cycle. hopefully we can do it all in one go next time: cd3 ultrasound, cd5 hsg, sa for my husband, and start me on clomid! i have to call my nurse to let her know the status so maybe she’ll have other plans for me. :)

i won’t be blogging until we get back from texas so have a wonderful weekend!

boohoohoo dawn…boohoohoo

May 30th, 2009 -- Posted in pcos, pms, stupid body | No Comments »

i am in a pms/hormonal funk.

i don’t feel like going anywhere, seeing anyone, or doing anything. i’ve been quite content to sit at home and play online, watch tv, and play games on my iphone, irritated at the world outside my front door. i’m not angry at anything or anyone in particular; i’m just seriously homicidal hormonal. the worst part of all of it is that i’m still waiting. waiting for this cycle to start or waiting to get a bfp. i’m still tired and grumpy and my boobs still hurt and i’m still craving pretty much everything. it’s just so frustrating to not know what is going on inside my body, but i hope something happens soon. i’m not stressed about it, i’m not convinced i’m pregnant and will crumble into a million pieces if my cycle starts. i just want something to happen. i guess this is a great test of my patience? of my sanity?  

i did leave my house for approximately two hours today so i could have my hair cut and colored. my usual stylist was out this weekend, but the receptionist promised me that this other girl was just as good and just as cool. thankfully, she really lived up to her reputation; she has fine hair like me so she knew how to cut it, and she toned down the warm red tones in my hair by making the brown just a little richer. she was fun and cute and quirky and we talked a lot about our dogs. it was nice.

my husband has an atv race tomorrow, so my plan is to do lots of laundry, watch bride wars, and start my packing list for our mini vacation to austin this weekend. i may even venture to the mall because i need new foundation. not too exciting, i know i know, but it’s SOOOO NICE to not have to worry about homework or guests or anything else. 

despite my moaning about not wanting to do anything or see anyone, i am actually quite content to be alone and do my thing. i need time for me, especially after the past few crazy weekends and the next two crazy weekends coming up. i do know i have a hard time finding balance though, so i’m glad i have a long weekend with friends coming up soon!

seriously body

May 28th, 2009 -- Posted in pms, stupid body | 2 Comments »

pms? pregnant?

i’m eating everything in sight. my boobs feel like giant watermelons on my chest and hurt. i’m tired. i’m uber-emotional (my husband asked: “more than usual? maybe i just won’t talk to you for a few days”). i’m bloated.

honestly body, please pick one. because if it’s just pms, you need to do your thang so i can get the ultrasound done before we go to texas. i ask that you tell af to come by monday or wait until the 5th.  or don’t come at all but give me a bfp!!!

those are your choices, body. are you listening to me?