blondedawn

boohoohoo dawn…boohoohoo

i am in a pms/hormonal funk.

i don’t feel like going anywhere, seeing anyone, or doing anything. i’ve been quite content to sit at home and play online, watch tv, and play games on my iphone, irritated at the world outside my front door. i’m not angry at anything or anyone in particular; i’m just seriously homicidal hormonal. the worst part of all of it is that i’m still waiting. waiting for this cycle to start or waiting to get a bfp. i’m still tired and grumpy and my boobs still hurt and i’m still craving pretty much everything. it’s just so frustrating to not know what is going on inside my body, but i hope something happens soon. i’m not stressed about it, i’m not convinced i’m pregnant and will crumble into a million pieces if my cycle starts. i just want something to happen. i guess this is a great test of my patience? of my sanity?  

i did leave my house for approximately two hours today so i could have my hair cut and colored. my usual stylist was out this weekend, but the receptionist promised me that this other girl was just as good and just as cool. thankfully, she really lived up to her reputation; she has fine hair like me so she knew how to cut it, and she toned down the warm red tones in my hair by making the brown just a little richer. she was fun and cute and quirky and we talked a lot about our dogs. it was nice.

my husband has an atv race tomorrow, so my plan is to do lots of laundry, watch bride wars, and start my packing list for our mini vacation to austin this weekend. i may even venture to the mall because i need new foundation. not too exciting, i know i know, but it’s SOOOO NICE to not have to worry about homework or guests or anything else. 

despite my moaning about not wanting to do anything or see anyone, i am actually quite content to be alone and do my thing. i need time for me, especially after the past few crazy weekends and the next two crazy weekends coming up. i do know i have a hard time finding balance though, so i’m glad i have a long weekend with friends coming up soon!

seriously body

pms? pregnant?

i’m eating everything in sight. my boobs feel like giant watermelons on my chest and hurt. i’m tired. i’m uber-emotional (my husband asked: “more than usual? maybe i just won’t talk to you for a few days”). i’m bloated.

honestly body, please pick one. because if it’s just pms, you need to do your thang so i can get the ultrasound done before we go to texas. i ask that you tell af to come by monday or wait until the 5th.  or don’t come at all but give me a bfp!!!

those are your choices, body. are you listening to me?

i wonder

is this what pms feels like? because i don’t really remember. 

yay if it is but boo for the stupid emo crap!

busy weekend!

we had a very busy weekend here. my parents drove down from pennsylvania on friday morning so it’s been non-stop since they arrived. we went fishing on saturday and enjoyed a beautiful day at the rappahannock river. we found a great spot on the little beach, set up our chairs, and waded in the river.

after fishing for a while, some people beside us caught a rather large and interesting fish. it thrashed around and caused quite a commotion…and it turns out that they accidentally caught it by the tail. it was a gar fish – a fish that is apparently very hard to catch and not often seen. my parents have been fishing for 25+ years and this was the first one my dad had seen in person.  this is a very small gar fish – i did a google search for this fish and they can grow to be over 10 feet long. here’s a pic of the one that was caught in the river…

and here is a pic of one i found from google…(seriously, brace yourself!!!)

see what i mean? yikes.

sunday was spent working on the house. we added pretty brick trim to the edge of the deck in order to keep the river rock inside the right perimeter, installed a microwave above the stove, and prepped the basement for the new hot water heater we installed today. i swear that we were in bed by 9pm every night. :) today, my best friend came over with her little 17 month old and we had so much fun. she is such a little sweetheart and loves to make everyone around her laugh. so happy they came over!

my parents were going to stay until tomorrow morning, but decided to leave this afternoon. i’m so happy they came and so thankful for all they help us with and do for us. we are so lucky to have such great parents (my parents and my in-laws!).

and so it begins

i had my first appointment with shady grove today. i was there for 2.5 hours and my head is still spinning from information overload. 

the good news is that my blood tests (thank you wonderful endo for sending over the results!) are normal and consistent with pcos. note: when i say normal, i mean normal compared to others with pcos. not normal-normal. i was pleasantly surprised by this news since of course i had prepped myself for the worst. 

we have some homework…more blood work, a baseline ultrasound and hsg for me, sa for j, requesting a few more records, etc. we may or may not start clomid with the next cycle; it depends on timing (since we’re going out of town for 4 days in early june) and whether or not i need to take provera to induce my cycle. i’m okay with waiting until the july cycle and don’t want to stress myself out with rushing rushing rushing.

i have lots of calls to make; two of which are to our insurance companies to see if they cover various things. did any of you have the cystic fibrosis screening? was it covered by insurance? that’s the only thing i’m torn about.

oh – one really really major sucky thing about the location…there is a wic program for mothers on another floor.  i seriously saw no less than five pregnant women and three newborns just from walking in and out of the building. bad bad bad! i didn’t like that at alllllll.